My husband Hugo, a transplanted Argentinean, will be the first one to say it himself — he’s not big on socializing. Especially with family. Here’s a comprehensive list of relatives he’s in touch with:
Parents (0)
Siblings (0)
Nieces/Nephews (0)
Aunts/Uncles (0)
Cousins (0)
In sum: zero. His grandparents are long gone, both of his parents passed away young, he’s got one (estranged) sibling, and he lost touch with his dozens of aunts, uncles, and cousins decades ago. So when he arrived in the States back in 2012, I decided that surely, he’d enjoy it if I shared some of my relatives. To date, he’s met:
Parents (1)
Siblings/Siblings-in-law/Former siblings-in-law (4)
Nieces/Nephews/Niece & nephews-in-law (5)
Grandnieces/Nephews (7)
Aunts/Uncles & spouses (12)
Cousins/Second cousins/Third cousins & spouses (65+)
A healthy percentage of these relatives came to meet him when we held a wedding reception in Monesson, PA as part of our 2012 “Welcome to the US!” road trip. But since not everybody could make the reception, I had to track down other relatives in their lairs, both in 2012 and on our 2013 trip. This required additional visits to:
Tennessee
Ohio
Missouri
Nebraska
Colorado
Eastern Pennsylvania (a separate state from Western Pennsylvania)
How did Hugo feel about meeting all of this kin, spread across the continent? A bit overwhelmed, it seems.
"Perhaps I can escape Amy's enormous family in that arch I see in the distance."
While I’m in regular contact with many of my extended family members, there are some I haven’t caught up with in decades — including my wonderful cousin Linda and her husband, who showed us around St. Louis when we came to visit.
"Good lord --- I can see even more of them from up here."
Introducing Hugo to family members one at a time, when possible, seemed the most humane option. My nephew Bill lives in Nashville, and he showed me and his new Uncle Hugo the local sights, including the Barnes and Noble at Vanderbilt. With his eagle eye, Bill spotted copies of my book next to — that’s right — Donald Rumsfeld’s.
Strange bedfellows.
When I asked the management if they’d like me to autograph the copies, someone hurried off for a pen. After they’d placed “Signed by the Author” stickers on them, Bill gave a laugh. “How do they know you’re Amy Smith? Couldn’t you show up and claim to be anybody and just start signing books?” Hugo raised an eyebrow and went off to browse elsewhere while I contemplated this amusing idea.
"Do it, Aunt Amy --- pretend to be Rumsfeld!"
Youngsters are not Hugo’s strong suit, but he held up surprisingly well when he met my niece Angie’s three children in Colorado. They live with their father in a blended family with three other half-siblings — and the whole happy crew welcomed us both. When the youngest of the bunch handed Hugo her toy guitar, he was completely won over.
"Sound of Music, anyone?"
On that “Cousins/Second Cousins & spouses” list above, I lost count at 65 — mostly because of our stop in central Nebraska. Back in the 1970s my father’s sister Nova moved to Genoa, where she and my Uncle Jack raised five kids. These kids in turn raised their own kids, and now many of those kids have kids. I love visiting them whenever I can. They’re always warm and welcoming — and a ton of fun. Most of the family still live in town or nearby, and my cousin Jane hosted a gathering at her house one Sunday.
Ponies welcome, too!
When the crowd eventually swelled to more than 40 people — with Hugo desperately trying to keep track of names — he finally took me aside and whispered, “Are you related to all of these people?”
I laughed. “Yes. And now you are, too.” He gave a thoughtful nod, and finally, a smile.
So . . . while I don’t expect he’ll want to have parties with 40 relatives every weekend, I think he’s pretty happy, truth be told, to get to know his new American family. Ponies and all.
